I hate birthdays. Every year i feel guilty about it, people try to make me enjoy my Birthday. However, i know that no matter what intrinsic act of generosity and kindheartedness people bestow on me i will not enjoy the day. I do find myself coming up with things to do on my birthday not particularly because of an 'today is my day and i will do whatever i want' attitude but because of an 'ok this will keep mum happy.' attitude (i was going to substitute mum with fake girlfriend's name but, i decided Charles you made your empty bed of singleness now lay in it.) Even with gifts, though always a pleasure to recieve i am of the opinion that once you are past a point where you have the necessary monetary assets and fiscal power to occasionally treat yourself, presents are of no use because if i want something i can buy it i see no reason why i should have to go through the memory game that is creating a list of gifts that i desire and spend other people's money in the process. In my Present-Based-Eutopia people would give gifts when they feel like it and will not be tied down by a amazon wish list or a date at all thus, allowing all gifts the natural facet of being an surprise. (If you do like this idea feel free to change your Present-Based-Eutopia to fall inline with my preordained conditions.)
I can't wait for the day to end, because when it starts i have a whole new year where i can plan everything and anything i want to achieve in that year. The prospect of traveling, university, starting a band, playing football again, learning to play cricket, dropping out of university to do any of the former professionally : a whole year can be filled with such ambition, such hope, such promise. The only gift i feel i get from a birthday is the gift of time, which, sorry amazon your fantastic range of consumer items cannot compete with. It's literally the gift that keeps on giving. Time wasted in that case is a horrible realisation, recognising you have achieved nothing you wanted; that your hopes have been smashed by what is essentially procrasination and poor decision making... ...and when at 12:05 having had a takeaway i was sat on my own playing FIFA, assessing how it now was my birthday whilst shouting at darren bent it was a pretty sobering realisation at best.
P.S left cats and cakes out of the rant for obvious reasons.
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